pure happiness

i haven't been myself now for 21 days.
t w e n t y - o n e long days.
but guess what! i'm back, and happier than ever.
i don't know what it was, but i woke up this morning with a smile on my face. i have been gleaming with joy and nothing can bring me down today. i am on cloud 9. i could possibly be the happiest person on earth right now. i don't know why i am so happy but i will take it.
today, i took charge of my happiness. i'm smiling at everyone and everything. i'm do the most random acts of kindness. carrying books for a random girl in the library. opening doors for boys. offering help to someone who looks like they need help.
i am perfectly content in my little world, i'm so extremely blessed and happy to have such a loving father in heaven who is listening to me, and providing me this comfort. i'm so happy i know that i have the gospel in my life.

things that are making me happy at this moment (or today):
+ praying to my heavenly father
+ allen's camera store for helping me
+ taking photos of the ducks in the BYU pond
+ the gospel and the all the knowledge it contains
+ starting and almost finishing my mission papers
+ the good music that my itunes contains
+ people thanking me for doing acts of service for them
+ smiling at someone and having them smile back
+ flying home in december for a week
+ talking to my grandpa
+ instagram (so hipster)
+ meeting new people
+ being inspired and planning relief society activities
+ my calling
+ being in charge of my life & my happiness

obsessed

they played this song yesterday at thanksgiving. we were sitting at the table, all of the sudden this song was blasting from the to the room. a few seconds later you see Alysse dancing and singing on the top of her lungs through the arch way. it was a sight to see.

when i was on my way out, this song magically appeared again and the entire family was singing this song in the kitchen. it filled my heart with joy.

now to show you the newest song to bump in your car:

give thanks

"in whatsoever place ye may be in, in spirit and in truth; that ye live in thanksgiving daily" 

alma 34:38

i'm extremely grateful to the two missionaries who made the decision to take two years out of their lives to preach the gospel. who were sent to the Spokane, Washington mission, spent a couple months in Moses Lake, Washington. who were kind, patient, and willing to take time out of their day to teach me the truth and the principles of the gospel. that i am not able to receive all the blessings that the gospel promises. that i am now a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

 i'm grateful that i have the opportunity to spread the knowledge i have pertaining to the gospel. it's truth, it's happiness and the blessings i have received from living the commandments that are taught. i'm grateful to belong to a church with the principles, values and the beliefs it teaches. i'm grateful to have met some of the most wonderful people in the world, who are so caring, who actually care and want the best for me. 

i'm grateful to have a best friend that loves me so much, cares about me more than anyone else, teaches me and encourages me to do my best. who is always there for me, who forgives me and who is willing to give his all to me. i'm so grateful to be shown what real unconditional love is like.

 i'm grateful for my calling, the girls in my relief society who bring me so much happiness. i love them so much.

 i'm grateful for lowell, who makes me so happy whenever i see his face, who is the most genuine caring and sincere person i have ever met. who encourages me to live the gospel as best as i can, who helps me understand it better and encourages me to become the best sister missionary the world has seen. 

i'm grateful for cosette and the example she is to me, who i can spend hours talking to, talking all things gospel, temple and mission. she makes me excited to serve the lord, and go through the temple. 

i'm grateful for amy who cares so much, who desires to good in the world.

i'm grateful for julia and her awkward ways who always cheers me up. 

i'm grateful for emily who i can relate to, who makes me feel better and is gradually becoming my best friend. she is a person i can tell almost everything to.

i'm grateful for the soderberg family, for loving me, showing me how amazing it is to be part of a family. 

i'm grateful for the shumway's, for their hospitably, love, and sense of humor. i had the greatest time spending thanksgiving with their family. their family is such an inspiration. they are a perfect representation of how i hope my future family is like. 

i'm grateful for the experiences i had in my life, because they made me a strong person. these experiences, some that i'm not proud of made me appreciate the commandments and helped strengthen my testimony.

i'm grateful for my family. for my grandparents who have given me so much. many of the things i've accomplished couldn't have been done without them.

i'm grateful for love. and the happiness it brings. 

impatiently

i'm sitting quite impatiently, reloading the page every 5 seconds to see if i have been authorized to view this certain, important page.

i received the phone call about one hour ago, a call that made me run up and down my hallway 9 times, i kid you not. the same phone call that made me jump from couch to couch gleaming with joy.

the phone call i've been waiting for for about a month.

the phone call that told me that i am able to serve a LDS mission and i can finally start my papers.

after this phone call, i made my own call to a certain someone. the same someone who said they didn't want to talk until sunday. they didn't answer, which normally would make me a little disheartened. but i wasn't this time, finally making progress.

i suppose they have to find out my awesome news via social media. quite possibly this very own blog post.

in the meantime, i am sitting in my lovely christmas decorated apartment, that smells of apple cinnamon.

(i would upload photos, but apparently i already used 1 gb, you will have to wait until next month)

lights at the river woods

the lights are up at the riverwoods, it is absolutely astonishing. it smells and looks like christmas time. it feels so cozy and it makes me so joyous. this particular night, joe met me at work, we walked around, took photos and people watched. we went into blickenstaffs, a toy store for little kids. it had the biggest gumball machine. 

paint party

last friday night (insert singing voice and dance moves), my roommate made me get out of the house to stop mourning. i haven't been myself lately so to cheer me up she bought me a ticket to a paint dance/party up in highland. it was full of water guns with paint, paint water balloons, and dancing. i'm not a big dancer, but the paint was great. ---> photo of me at the end of the night, my hair was orange.

SLC Temple & JSMB

last week joe and i headed up toe slc to roam around temple square. he taught me a bit of church history and some symbolism on the temple. he did the creep, perfectly demonstrated in the second photo. it was cold and unbearable for my little hands. but he is a sport and so wonderful and kind and stood by my side the entire time. the joseph smith memorial building interior is outstanding. in the last photos. afterwards, my handsome best friend took me to tucanos for my first time. it was wonderful, i ate my weight in meat. 

laurel & mike

my coworker from victoria's secret got married! she was sealed for all time & eternity in the Draper temple. a temple i had a dream about 4 times... it's beautiful. her reception was gorgeous and was held at the Wadley Farms. it was full of love, warmth and sweet dance moves. Laurel is completely stunning and Mike is a dashing gent. 

 

dear,

dear future worn down self,

i know you are weak and vulnerable right now. but i know now you are a strong and valiant woman, who can overcome anything and everything that is in your way. you will be happy with every trial that is thrown you way, because you know it is just a stepping stone to something better. you didn't see it now and you feel completely shattered. that you are inadequate, unworthy and unwanted. but that is false, you have a Heavenly Father who loves you more than you can ever imagine. you need to remember his love for you, you are never unworthy for his love. whenever you feel down, turn to your father in heaven. knee down and bow humbly, tell him everything that is worrying you. tell him what is hurting you, lay your burdens upon him that you may feel at peace with yourself. read the scriptures, read talks, go to the temple. the gospel is what is going to bring you the most happiness. i know you just want to crawl into fetal position and just sleep until everything is okay, stop it, stop it right now. you are in control of your own happiness. go do something that makes you happy. be selfish, think of yourself and what is going to bring you the most happiness. don't wait until everything is going to get better, take care of it now. i can't wait until i look back at the place i am right now and think about how much happier i am now, now that i have persevered and searched for what is going to bring me the most eternal happiness.

sincerely, this too shall pass.

dear future husband,

love me. love me when i am weak, love me when i am strong. love me when i make mistakes and forgive me when i do, because i make a lot. love me when i don't love myself because that is when i will most need it. listen to all my silly little problems, even if you think they are the littlest and silliest thing. love me when i have food all over my face and toothpaste on my clothes, since that happens more than it should. hold me when i am upset, and make me laugh when i cry. laugh at my jokes, and tell me what i need to hear, even if i don't want to hear it. let me take a million photos of you even if you don't want to. i promise i will love you the same. be right next to my side through everything, because i will be right next to yours. be my stalwart. be my confidant. read the scriptures with me, pray with me every morning and night. he the patriarch of our family. help me teach our children the gospel. be sealed to me for all eternity. grow with me spiritual and emotionally.

sincerely, your future wife and best friend for all eternity. 

wintertime

the perfect day

the perfect friday, it was the first day in over three months where i didn't have to set an alarm to wake me up. i woke up at 9:30, heard the rain falling outside my window. i jumped out of bed and opened the blinds and window wide open. i walked out to the living room and picked out 5 movies to watch over the day. i popped them into my dvd player and started my day watching elf. after elf, i decided to make some lunch and watch easy a. i rearranged my walls and my desk, it looks great. (no photo currently). i decided to paint a blank canvas i had sitting in the corner of my window. went to di with my roommate julia, it was very unsuccessful. came back, made hot cocoa, listened to christmas music and finished up my painting. now the rest of my day is to go to work and study for my upcoming tests.

it was the perfect friday.

all i'm missing is my best friend, i miss him so.

& now it's snowing.